Seek Calm

emma sharpieMy 13-year-old has been doing art doodles. I have found her at our local elementary school playground drawing them in a notebook. She usually holes up in her bedroom to draw. At one of our homework dates recently she talked me into buying her a cool sketchbook and sharpies. I recently found this photo on Facebook (and the doodles, yes, on her legs).

On impulse I bought her this book: How to Be an Explorer of the World, by Keri Smith. (Check out her very cool blog.) I haven’t decided whether or not to save it for her July birthday. Maybe graduation? Maybe now is a good time.

I am choosing to see this as all good. As Keri advises today, “Keep Calm.”

Minor Characters

dogwood

Here’s a quote I came across yesterday — again — while cleaning my office. It’s from Scott Nadelson’s essay, “What About the Suffering?: the Quiet Power of Minor Characters,” which appeared in The Writer’s Chronicle in December of 2010 (and has been resurfacing in my office ever since).

“[M]inor characters are bearers of possibility, but they also bring into relief the impossibility of knowing what will come, the unavoidable mystery and uncertainty of living….The power of minor characters, then, lies at least partly in their limitations–they offer protagonists nothing concrete, only guesses, intimations. They may reframe a central character’s conflict, but in the end they hand it back to him to deal with himself.” (27)

There’s more (the opening paragraph and what it says to fiction writers is worth copying in full). But now I’m going to put this issue of WC in the recycle bin.

In the mood for a poem…

mom me ericI Could Love You That Way

The way a woman cleans house, tying her hair
in a kerchief, knocking down cobwebs

with a broom. All day gathering clothes
and toys and books from beneath the beds,

vacuuming under the couch cushions,
scrubbing the drains, polishing

the fixtures. I could love you that way,
methodically, thoroughly, offering my body

at day’s end as if it were a house,
as if it were only a place for you to lie down.

 

This poem has never been published, but every time I’ve read it to an audience at least one person has asked for a copy of it.

 

 

How Did Your Phone Train You to Pick It up Whenever It Makes a Noise?

makinghabits_breakinghabitsOne of the books I read in preparation for my English 101 class project is Making Habits, Breaking Habits by Jeremy Dean. “This book started,” Dean starts, “with an apparently simple question that seemed to have a simple answer: How long does it take to form a new habit?” (3). He makes short work of the myth of 21 days — or 28. And he makes me think. My youngest daughter’s black cat, Angel, one morning a week or two ago, decided to slip outside when I went out to write in my potting shed. The next morning, he was waiting at the door for me as though this had been our life-long routine. Automaticity. He didn’t have to think about it. Every morning since then he has been waiting at the door to go out. Every morning, without much thinking about it (except to be bemused), I have let him out.

cabin1

Not all habits form so easily. It can be incredibly difficult to form a new habit, depending on how much your routine — environment and companions — reinforce your old one. Try drinking water instead of coffee. Try cajoling yourself into flossing daily. Try writing every day. Breaking habits? Even harder. Dean helped me to understand why my friend Therese can’t quit smoking, despite multiple attempts: “90% of people quit quitting within the first week” (185). “The problem for making and breaking habits is that so much is happening in the unconscious mind,” Dean explains. “Since the unconscious is generally like the Earth’s core, impenetrable and unknowable, we can’t access it directly” (50).

The trick, it seems, is to become conscious. One way to become conscious is, of course, to write it down.

Dean has good news, too, for people trying to form a new habit. One upside of habit formation is that the will-power you exert in forming one new habit will have a kind of slippage or halo effect that makes it possible to make additional changes. It’s what I’ve said here before, one small change can become a catalyst for an entire cascade of changes.

angel5If you want to write, making a commitment to write every day — even for a very, very short period of time — will help you step to the next level of commitment.